Amina Kadous

A Crack in the Memory of My Memory

“I trespassed through the remnants of my past. Through the layers of time, the ashes and cracks of the walls crumble over me, creating wounded walls and wounds inside of me. I feel as though I am walking on bits of my broken heart, collecting and piecing them together as authentically as I can. Yet, I’m trapped in my cage of memories; all that I see of my present are mere images of stories my grandparents have passed on to me; of a city that doesn’t exist anymore. I am lost through my conflicting ideas of my present, trying to adjust, yet I’m trapped in a different era that has long been forgotten.

The road is my timeline, my history and my cracked memory. I grew up cocooned and protected by two worlds, two houses and the road connecting them, connecting my past and present. A 120 km road trip I took every week between my father’s home in Mahalla Al Kobra and my mother’s home in Cairo from the age of 5 until young adulthood stretches as a silent witness and visual documentary as I struggle to find myself. My life was paved along that route. And as a kid exploring and trying to find common grounds in between, I was always wondering where I belonged, where I was home. As I moved along the road, my unrecognised longings grew larger than me while chasing my grandparents’ stories, trying to locate myself in the past that was not mine in the memories of their memories.

The road is a constant reminder of our individuality, our place and ourselves as we become. It symbolises the dichotomy between the past and present. As I migrate internally and externally, physically and mentally, outbound and inbound of Cairo, I engage in dialogues informed by my self-doubt and fear yet driven by my instincts towards hope and a vision of a better future. A stream of questions and thoughts erupts inside me: Am I living my present or just existing? What will my present be? Will it be as glorious as the past’s present? Was the past as glorious as I thought? Are we able to create from today our tomorrow? Is my past the saviour of my present moment and uncertain future?”

Amina Kadous (1991) is a visual artist based in Cairo, Egypt. She received her Bachelor in Fine Arts from TuFs University and The School of the Museum of Fine arts in Boston. Her work tackles concepts of memory and identity. She believes in the ephemerality of experience. Nothing lasts; documentation of experiences, of the objects and moments of the physical world, only lasts when passed on. She believes a photograph is an object that holds memories and meanings, keepsakes that give life.

Photography as an art has been a medium allowing her to treasure, hold and bless the past she has not lived, but only through the stories and eyes of those who have narrated it. Her work links past and present through the layers of time as they fold and unfold. For her, the exploration of time serves as a means for understanding who she is as a person. Characterizing herself as an explorer of ideas, she is driven by the spirit of inquiry. She seeks to comprehend the meanings and hidden ambiguities of lives, not her own, through the interactive nature of viewer, photographer, object and environment. She is driven by experience as a woman and an Egyptian. That is her signature: her work, like time, evolves.

She has exhibited in London, Boston, Paris and Mali, Italy and The Netherlands. Amina has also exhibited as part of the Photography Biennale of the contemporary Arab world at the Cite Des Arts in Paris. She participated in the 12th edition of the Bamako Biennale of Photography and was awarded the Centre Soleil d’Afrique Prize for her project, ‘A Crack in the Memory of My Memory’. Her work was also exhibited at The AfriKa Museum in the Netherlands part of the World Press group exhibition, Connecting Views: Talents from the APJD. Recently, she was awarded a grant from Magnum Foundation and Prince Claus Foundation and was one of the top ten finalists for the Everyday projects grant for her current ongoing project, ‘White Gold’.